Funny T-shirts

THE 52 FUNNIEST T-SHIRTS

 

Funny Compliments

- Is your dad an artist?
    because your a fine piece of work

- Is your dad a genie?
because your making my dreams come true

- Is your dad a lock smith?
   because you have the keys to my heart

- Did your dad write a dictionary?
  because you put meaning in my life

- Is your dad a japelano?
  because you sure are hot.

 
- Is your dad a terrorist?
  because you are a sex bomb

- I must be in a museum, because you truly are

Funny School jokes

 SCHOOL LIFE:

Most irritating moment
- Morning alarm

Most difficult task
- To find SOCKS

Most Dreadful Journey
- way to class

 Most lovely time
- meeting friends

 Most tragic moment
- Surprise test in 1st period

Most wonderful news.
- TEACHER IS ABSENT.

ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0%

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?

* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

Funny Bank jokes

During a robbery in the bank, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. 
This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!" 

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do! 

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got." 

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how

Funny Women jokes

- What's the difference between a Woman with PMS and a Pit Bull?
 A: Lipstick

 Every girl is a ninja...It shows when someone touches her phone or her boyfriend

 Female Viagra has been around for years...it's called money! 

 - Why do women close their eyes during sex?
 They can't stand to see a man having a good time.

- How much money do you need to satisfy a woman?
 It is always just a little bit more.

- What have women and condoms  got in common?    

  ..If they're not on your dick they're. in your wallet.   

- Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?

 They can't stand to see a man have a good time!

- What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

- What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
      A $100 bill.                      

- What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
  45 lbs.

- What is a vagina?
  The box a penis comes in.

 - Why did God make women?
 You think he's gonna wash the dishes?

 - How do you turn a fox into an elephant?  
  Marry It!                                                 


 
- Why shouldn't you lie to a woman with PMS & GPS?
 

Funny politics jokes

Little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way.
I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism.

 Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government.

 We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People.

 The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class.

Your baby brother, we’ll call him The Future.
Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled.  

So the little boy goes to his parents’ room. Mom is sound asleep.  Not wanting to wake her,

he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he looks

FUNNY JOKES

Funny Definitions

Father: The banker that nature provides.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes

Compromise: The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece

A pessimist : an optimist with a lot experience

Monday:
The day after 
Sunday-Funday

Immature:
A word used by boring people to describe fun people 

Women:
The most confusing creatures that God put on the face of earth.

Gynecologist:
A fool who finds problems where others seek pleasure!

Mother:one person who does the work for 20...for free.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills

  Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated